Satisfaction in God

Well, it’s been a while since my last post. I haven’t had much going on. I have just been working, church and watching football on Saturdays. I have been getting ready for the 5K that I am running in October. So that’s a goal that I am setting for myself. I hope that by the end of this week, I will be at 2 miles. I feel if I get that accomplished then I will be at a good place. I enjoy running it’s one of my new hobbies. It gives me a lot more energy and gives me something to do after I get off work every day.

I started a bible study by Beth Moore. The name of it is Living Free. I am on Week 4 this week. It has really opened my eyes to a lot of things. Today especially was a big eye opener. Just last night I prayed that this week I would learn to seek the Lord more and not worry about not having a boyfriend or a husband right now. I prayed that I would learn to be content with where the Lord has placed me right now. I know that there is a reason for everything and God has a big plan for my life. Well, today’s study topic was satisfaction in God.. One phrase that really hit me was: “God never intended any other earthly relationship to fulfill our deepest needs.” My savior is all that I need. There is a satisfaction that only he can give me. I know that I need to come to a place that I realize that Christ is all that I need and nothing else matters.

It’s so easy to say: God you are all I need, help me to give everything to you and know that you have a big plan for me. The hard part is to believe it in my heart. To learn to trust him that He will meet all my needs. My Jesus knows where I am at today, he knows that my heart is hurting but he wants me to cling to him and know that His love is all that I need. I feel like at times God wants me to come to a place that I realize that He is all need and learn to be happy being single. I think that until I come to that place he just might hold off on giving me another relationship. That’s what’s hard, it’s not easy. Every day, I have to say the same prayer over and over again: Lord help me to rest in you and know that you have got a big plan, you know what is best for my life.

Just taking one day at a time..

Most of the time I know what I want to blog about. But this week I know that I want to blog but I don’t really have a topic to talk about. So, I am just going to start typing and let my heart talk. These past few months have had their ups and downs. There have been tears and smiles, good times and bad times. I have come to the realization that things don’t always go as planned but there is a great plan that sometimes we cannot see.

I have learned in life that all you can do is live for today. You cannot bring back yesterday and you can’t see tomorrow. If we dwell on the past it’s not going to bring the past back to us as much as we want it to. The mistakes that we make in our life we just have to learn from them and move forward with life. A few weeks ago Pastor Ed made a statement that I will never forget. He said “When we worship a good thing as a God thing that’s a bad thing.” I can’t tell you how powerful that spoke to me. So many times in my life I have done this. I have gone through so many heartbreaks in my life. It has always been a joke at my house with my dating relationships. I would go on a date with a guy, two weeks later, I was telling dad that he’s the one day I just know it.

I have a big heart. I have always been the kind that when I am going to be your friend, most of the time you are my friend for life and I am going to do anything I can for you. When I love someone I truly give my whole heart. Is that I bad thing? Sometimes it can be, it can be dangerous when I do lose that person. I feel as if a big part of my life is missing. Every relationship that I have been in, I have learned something out of it. I always said that if I could take all the good traits of each guy I have ever dated. I would have one amazing man. But you know what ,there is one man who wants my whole heart and he is jealous for me.

That one man is Jesus. He loves me so much. His love for me is unfailing, unconditionally, faithful.. The list can go on. He never gives up on me and is always there. There have been times that I left him and he was always there with his loving arms to welcome me back home. He always promises that he will take care of me in the good times and bad. Sometimes I can’t see the big plan but my savior sees the master plan. He has a purpose for everything. It’s a day by day process. When I am having a down day or a day that I think God are you listening to me? He always reminds me that he is walking right beside me and I just need to trust that he knows what he is doing.

Trust, have faith, God's got this..

Well, it’s the start of a new week, full of ups and downs, full of happiness and maybe sadness. The truth is we don’t know what tomorrow holds for us. We just have to have faith that the Lord is never going to leave us and he knows what tomorrow holds. I have learned lately that nothing is for sure, things change, situations change. The one promise that I hold on to is that my Savior never changes, he’s mercies are new every morning, he is always with me, he loves me unconditionally, he wants me to count on him. He wants me to cast all my cares and worries at his feet. So many times in life we want to give him our worries, but then we just want to keep just a little piece of it. Why? I think I do it because I still want to feel like I am in control of the situation or maybe its fear of the unknown. It’s probably more of the fear of the unknown. If you read my last blog you will remember that I said I don’t like that big word CHANGE very much.

The other day I picked up the following book at the bookstore: So Long Insecurity by Beth Moore. I can’t put this book down. It’s a book that at this season in my life I really needed to read it. I am going to put some of quotes from her book that has really spoken to me:

“What does your own relational track record look like? Do you tend put a fair amount of pressure on some key relationships” –Beth Moore

“We can get away with thinking we’re secure people because, for a time, we have the important things just like we want them. But then change happens; and suddenly we are thrown for a severe emotional loop. We realize we weren’t secure.” – Beth Moore

“God knows exactly what happened and what a toll it took. He knows the number that it played on your mind. Let Him bring you peace. Let Him tell you you’re worth wanting, loving, even liking, pursuing, fighting for, and yes, beloved, keeping.” –Beth Moore

“Even when we know God is in the picture and every end leads to a new beginning, right at the moment of discovery, we tend to feel that everything wonderful is over.”- Beth Moore.

Those are just a few things that really spoke to me. In this life we have things that will catch us off guard. When life seemed like it was going just the way that it was supposed to, here comes something that you weren’t expecting. I know from experience in life that when the unexpected happens it’s not fun, it’s not easy, and it will take a while before you will be ok with everything. You just have to learn to trust even when you don’t understand. I think that saying “Trust even when you don’t understand” is what has got me through many things in life. Life is not always easy, it’s going to be rocky at times, but that’s when the only thing we can do is to completely give it to God. He knows what the future holds, his plans and ways are greater than ours. Believe me at times I struggle with that. Because when I have something that I know that God gave me and then he is going to take what he gave me away from me, I don’t handle that very well. I have to ask my Savior every day help me dear Lord to give it all to you, it’s in your hands now, and I can’t do anything to change it.

Satan will want to discourage and make us feel like nothing. He will tell us lies to bring us down. When that happens we just have to tell Satan to leave and ask God to continue to give you strength. When I write sometimes it’s therapy for me. I feel like if I write things down I can get things off my chest. God knows where I am and he meets me there. He holds me when I cry. I didn’t mean for this to be a long blog, I just started writing. Trust, have faith, know that there is a reason for everything.

Change.. No one likes that word..

Change no one likes that word. It’s because you don’t know what change will bring. It means that you are no longer in control or know what to expect in the future. The dictionary defines change: to make the form, nature, content, future course, etc., of (something) different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone. I know that even as a child I didn’t like change. It’s the unknown that scares me. As a child I had all my plans in my mind of how my life would be. My plans never where as I planned because of the word change...

As a human, I don’t like change but over and over in my life I have found out that change happens every day. The way that we react when change happens is what matters. Our human nature we want to just give up and not move forward. We want to bring back the past because the past was comfortable. We knew how to move forward, life was just the way that we wanted it. But if we have that attitude then where does change have in our life. As a Christian we have to give up all of our plans and let God direct our life. Most of the time the word change will take place when we want to follow Christ. Sometimes change is what it may take for us to realize that he wants us to give it all to him. He knew before we were born how our life would be. He knew that sometimes it may take change in our life for us to fully understand what faith is.

Sometimes it may take a storm in our life to know we need a shelter. When we can’t trace his hand we must trust his heart. He has a bigger plan than the ones that we have for our life. I struggle sometimes when change comes into my life, I want to get upset with God because I had it all planned out only for him to take it away from me. Maybe sometimes he has to take us to the lowest place for us to realize what he is trying to tell us that he is all that we need in this life. He knows what is best for us. I mean he did create us. He knows us better than anyone else. My savior knows that I love music and poetry that it is my heart. So sometimes he has to get my attention in those ways. He reminds me that he hasn't forgotten about me. That he is holding my hand through it all.

I have to tell you about my friend, the piano. I have not played it in probably about a year. I don’t have one at my house in Loxley. Well, this past Saturday, something hit me to play it. I sat at the piano just like it was yesterday; I played and played probably the rest of the afternoon. It was like therapy to me. I felt so bad for leaving it. I felt like when I sat at the piano it was just the music and me. It’s amazing how you forget the things that you love so much. As a human I get so caught up in wanting to be what others want me to be. When, really that gets me nowhere. People will always let me down. God will never leave me no matter what. He knows my heart, my desires. He will hold my hand through the darkest times in my life. He knows when I’m hurting and he reminds me that it will only make me stronger and that he knows that it will take time but he’s going to hold me all the way. He will never give up on me.

God's got it all under control

Well, readers, it’s been a while since my last blog. Sometimes life just goes by too fast. Sometimes I step back and wonder where did all the time go? Next week I will be teaching 3rd and 4th graders at VBS. I am excited and I can’t wait to see what the Lord has in store. I know that he will do great things in the hearts of the kids next week. Kids now days are so smart and eager to learn more. The theme is The Big Apple (New York City). When I use to help do VBS at my dad’s church I did the music but I can’t wait to teach next week.

Today, God reminded me of how he is always with us. There are sometimes that I say “Lord have you been hearing me?” He reminded me that he hasn’t forgotten about me. He is right there with me through it all. It was kind of like he was saying “Savannah, my child, I’m listening to you, I haven’t forgot about you. I am listening to your every word. Just be still and know that I got this all under control.”

This past weekend was Father’s Day. I went home this past weekend to spend some time with my dad. He is such an amazing dad. He is always there when I need him. He prays for me, his love for me is unconditional. He has been there through the good times and the bad. There have been times in my life that I have had a broken heart, my dad reminds me that my prince charming is out there. He tells me that God has someone amazing out there for me, just to wait and see. He always said Savannah sometimes you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince. Through the years I have seen how amazing my dad is. I love you dad!

I found this poem today in my Where the Sidewalk Ends book I thought I’d share:
Smart

My dad gave me one dollar bill
Cause I’m his smartest son,
And I swapped it for two shiny quarters
Cause two is more than one!

And then I took the quarters
And traded them to Lou
For three dimes- I guess he don’t know
That three is more than two!

Just then, along came old blind Bates
And just ‘cause he can’t see
He gave me four nickels for my three dimes
And four is more than three!

And I took the nickels to Hiram Coombs
Down at the seed-feed store,
And the fool gave me five pennies for them,
And five is more than four!

And then I went and showed my dad,
And he got red in the cheeks
And closed his eyes and shook his head-
Too proud of me to speak!

Time is going by so fast...

Well, readers I can't believe that it is going to be June already. Where has the time gone. Time goes by when you are staying busy all the time. Since the beginning of the year, I have been in two weddings. There should not be any more weddings this year so I am glad. There is a lot that is involved in putting a wedding together and making it look nice. I have learned a lot though so that when the day comes that I marry I will know what to do and what not to do.

Work is fixing to get busy for me in the next couple of weeks. Then in June I have two family reunions to go to that are two weekends back to back. I can't wait for my family members to meet my boyfriend Logan. I think they will see why I love this man. Logan and me are doing great. Our love grows stronger for each other every day. I know that God has brough us together for a reason. God is faithful and always knows what is best for our life. I have been going to church with him now in baldwin county. We are teaching a class in VBS in June. I can't wait! I know that we are going to have lots of fun.

One of my favorite verses is " Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding." Proverbs 3:5. Whatever you are going through the Lord knows and he is always going to be with you.

Tax season is finally over...

Well, at last I finally am getting my life back to normal. Today was the first saturday that I have been able to sleep in since January. It has been a long few months. Working till 6 every night and working 5 hours on saturday as well. I treated myself to a pedicure yesterday.. On my day off on monday, I have scheduled a one hour massage. I have been waiting for this time for some time now. I won't know what to do tuesday though when we get off at 5. I will have more time to clean my house more, spend more time with Logan and do things that I have missed doing these last months.

I am so thankful for Logan who has stayed with me through all of this. He is trully a blessing. He always makes me smile still and makes me laugh. He is such a hard worker. I trully am lucky to have such a great boyfriend.

My best friend Erin Dunn will be home soon. I am so excited!!! I can't wait to just catch up with her. Sit around and just talk and have some girl time. She has been gone way too long. I can't wait for her to meet Logan, even though she knew him before I did.

I am trully blessed. Last year this time, I probably wasn't as happy and greatful as I am today. Always remember to be thankful for everything that God has given you. He blessings are new every morning. Well, I'm going to stop blogging now because this weekend is all about rest and relaxation for Savannah.. I will talk to you soon!